Running around in circles

I'm currently sitting watching my puppy chase her tail. Besides realising that she is indeed a complete and utter spastic, it's reminding me of many aspects of my current situation...

At the moment I'm (theoretically) writing a thesis in order to complete my Hons in maths. For anyone that has no idea what that means, its hell. I have never tried to do anything quite so difficult in my entire life. I never imagined it would be this hard! The worst thing about it though is that I have been given a supervisor that has never had an honors student before. This in itself isn't a problem, but his refusal to ask anyone else questions and just giving me whatever answer he thinks sounds good to my questions.... THAT'S a problem!

I spent a good couple of hours today with another maths lecturer telling her how close to quitting I was. Although, for now, she has convinced me to keep going with it, theres no telling how soon she's going to find me in her office again. I realise that this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but why should I need to speak to someone completely unrelated to the entire problem? Why should I be the one that has to chase things up when I've already answered the questions multiple times? It's not my job to ask the questions, he gets PAID to take on this role and isn't asking the questions when he needs to, if I were to do that in my job, I wouldn't keep it for very long!!!

Sorry to be a whinger one and all, needed to vent....

Kazzi

Lessons...

Recently I've found myself just a little addicted to StumbleUpon, for those of you who have no idea what the heck I'm talking about its a web site where you provide some idea as to what you are interested in, and are then able to stumble your way through various web sites that you may find interesting. The range is massive, from single photos to full websites to videos through to blogs.

I found myself at a blog where I read one line. I nodded thought it was a really good point and then moved on without really giving it much more thought. The line is really simple and unfortunately I cannot reference the owner of the thought as I don't have their name anymore;

"We are born to love, but we are taught to hate"

I don't think there is a single line of wisdom that has seemed more true! When a child is born, there is nothing in the world but the air they breathe and the love of the parents that it is born too. Over time however, that child is exposed to the world.

The world. What a place that is.

We comment a lot about how children these days are taught incredible violence and terror through video games and tv shows. My question is have you seen the news recently? Take today for instance, headlines include "Tourist charged with Subiaco murder", "Man critical after suspected drug lab explosion", "Several injusred in Perth night of violence", "Police cars ablaze in London riot" and thats just 4. How can we possibly expect anyone to be completely void of any form of hatred in their life.

Whether it is some form of hatred toward terrorists, something that we are definately encouraged towards in this day and age...

Hatred towards someone who has done the wrong thing...

It really isn't that far of a stretch to get to hatred towards someone that doesn't necessarily share our opinion.

The question is, how much do we encourage others towards this kind of hatred? How much do we encoursge this kind of hatred in our own interaction with society at large? Are we living as we were born to? Or taught to?

Perhaps every now and again we just need to be reminded that we are indeed born to love, and only taught to hate.

Kazzi

Quotes

I love quotes. Short ones, long ones, funny ones, silly ones, even ones that I don't understand. Someone somewhere has said something that someone else thought was good enough and important enough to write down so that still other people could learn from their words of wisdom.

If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door. - Milton Bearle

For those who don't know who Milton is - which included myself - he was an American actor and comedian who passed away in 2002. But in all seriousness - what does it matter. When you can give one liner pearls of wisdom like the one above who you are and what you did really makes no difference whatsoever.

I've been doing a lot of searching recently trying to work out what I'm going to do after I actually finish uni... which I guess will be the end of this year but for those of you that know me well enough you'll know that's no real guarantee... The problem I'm facing is that nothing available in "the real world" measures up to what I'm doing right now. My job is fun. I actually want to go to work. I know a lot of people that definitely wouldn't say that and I like that I'm different, that I actually like getting out of bed in the morning. What's better is that I'm good at what I do - really good, and I don't mean that in a boasting way...

I guess the challenge now is to find somewhere that wants me full time, doing what I'm doing now. Hey ECU, anyone retiring? Or maybe, going back to Milton, I should start trying to convince someone (in particular) to retire, leaving me his job.... =P

Kazzi

Language

After realising that I haven't written anything here for well what would seem like forever, I've decided to try doing this whole thing over again.

Semester has started again.... finally! After what seems like a rediculously long break I get my students - aka my babies back! Although this semester is a wee bit different to most. Instead of maths - which of course is my version of normality - my main focus for my tutorials will be humanities - covering everything from language and culture to religion, the arts and indigenous culture. An eventful week one has me really looking forward to the rest of the semester...

The focus for week one is culture, language and identity - how interesting is how much the language we use defines us not just as a culture or  society but as an individual. As Aussies we definately have a LOT of slang.... mate, g'day, bluey, drongo, grog, grouse and thats just six! One of my students suggested this morning that this leads to the idea that we're quite a lazy culture - "half assed" I think were his exact words :P something that is emphasised by the language we use.

The conversation was then directed along the lines of how a lack of understanding of language can lead to problems with cross cultural communication and understanding. How very true... Such a lack of understanding is evident everywhere we look. An example used was classroom based. How often do you hear a teacher say to a student, "look me in the eye when I'm talking to you"? From my own experience it happens way too often...

We were talking about indiginous students and how their culture teaches them not to look authority figures in the eye and yet the teacher sees them looking away as a lack of respect when in fact it is the exact opposite. How can we get through this barrier? No one I know goes out telling people about the differences between indigenous culture and our own. Surely we all speak a language similar enough to be able to communicate this most basic of cultural differences!

If we can't communicate differences between cultures that speak the same language how can we expect to be able to communicate cultural nuances between cultures that dont share our language!?

Kazzi

Holidays

Ever noticed the 'low' after coming back from a good trip? Just got back from an amazing European adventure and gone straight back into uni and work and all that other good stuff that I refer to as 'Reality'. Some times when we were away just wanted to go home. But now that I'm back all I wanna do is go back on holiday to relax again. You know, I dont think I even remember what its like now to be on holiday. That calm, relaxed, 'nothing to worry about feeling'. I now have to worry about how I get places, what time I do things even how and where I'm gunna eat, whilst away I didnt need to do that.

Maybe our whole lives should be holiday and instead of 'taking a holiday' we could visit Reality??? How would that work? We'd spend all our time not worrying about anything and then enjoy the day to day decisions and things that otherwise we'd live without... Well maybe thats just wishful thinking.

But I think its a common thing - we want the opposite of what we have. If we're stuck at home we want holidays, if we're on holidays we want to be home, if we have straight hair we want curly hair, if we have straight hair we want curly hair and the list could go on forever. Maybe its time that we stop thinking of what it would be like if only we had X, and started living the hand we've been dealt...

Ever heard the saying "when one door closes, another one opens"? Perhaps you've heard "when GOD closes one door he opens two more"? I dont know that these are necessarily true. I think I prefer this one,

"When God closes a door, He opens a window"

My holiday is over and now I need to get back to the real world but I dont feel like I'm walking through a wide open door, it feels more like I'm trying to squeeze through a much smaller gap. Yes its tricky and I may not enjoy it, but I know that EVENTUALLY - even if I cant see it, this Reality is the important stuff... not so much the holiday...

Lucky

I'm so lucky! I don't think we hear those 3 words often enough in our lives, but I think that most of us are.

For me, there is so much that I should be thankful for in life. I am lucky enough to be at uni studying something that I actually enjoy - as strange as that may sound to some of you when you learn that its mostly maths. I have a home that I can go to whenever I need to chill. I have awesome friends that I can turn to when I really need them, and all of that is just a start. I think that we can forget all of this awesome stuff in our lives too easily. We need to take time to remember all that stuff that we do have so that we can appreciate it more.

I've found out that it is a possibility that my grandma may not still be with us at Christmas.  Not only is my nanna very ill at the moment, three years ago around this time we lost my Aunty and two years ago we lost my other grandma. At such a time for celebration and joy my family has many reasons to be burdened and down. But my question is what is the point?

Why be sad when you can be happy? Why mope around when you can celebrate what it is that they stood for in our lives and the lives of people they came into contact with. Its not easy, don't get me wrong, but it sure beats the hell out of being down all the time.

Too much of our lives are spent wasted thinking about the bad stuf in our lives, why not try considering all the good stuff - remember how lucky we really are.

Kazzi

Meetings

So this is the new thing at the moment. Everyone is kinda into the blog thing and me being the 'techno nerd' thought I'd check it out too.... although im pretty sure I've done something fairly similar in the past and probably have another one of these things created out in the world wide web somewhere.

It kinda got me thinking though. How many of us do stuff on this thing once, forget all about it and virtually never come back? How many of us have left some imprint of out lives out there for others to see that we've forgotten all about? And it doesn't necessarily have to be an online imprint thats left...

I saw someone the other day that I'd met once at a party. I was shopping somewhere - strange coz I actually hate shopping - and this person that I recognised but couldn't put a name to if my life depended on it came straight up to me. For those that know me the next statement will probably sound strange - but me being a shy person would not have done this in a million years!

Anyway, this person that I cant name came up to me and said the most incredible thing. She looked me straight in the eye and said "You changed my life." I was not only confused but also slightly shocked. Not only did I have absolutely no idea what she was talking about, I was still trying to work out what it was that I had done that was so great.

Standing there in the middle of the shopping centre this girl told me how, thanks to me and how I'd spoken to her at this single meeting goodness knows how long ago she had made a series of decisions that changed her life for the better. I dont want to go into them here - thats for her to blog about, but lets just say they were incredibly significant decisions.

That brings me back to the questions. How many of us have had that off chance meeting where we have met someone and had the chance to really speak to someone - even if we dont know it at the time? Furthermore, how many have had the chance to be spoken to in a way that meant so much more than how it was intended? But perhaps the most important question, how many have said thanks to that person?

Believe me, THAT made my day...

Kazzi